If you were struggling through something hard and it is making you feel stuck and bringing your self esteem down what would be your best advice on this?

When you are struggling with a challenge it can feel overwhelming and you can feel stuck. You can think I don't know how to deal with this and may never get through it.  Things can look dark. When you feel stuck it is hard to think of solutions or make choices that will support you. When you are not sure what to do you can get uncomfortable trying something new, making a new choice, or asking for help. That keeps you stuck. You can have thoughts like - I 'should' be able to do this,  I 'can't' figure this out,  'it's too hard'.and those thoughts about yourself can make you feel bad and bring down your self-esteem. 

So what can you do?

1. Acknowledge that you are struggling.  It's normal - we all have challenges in life!   Say to yourself I am really struggling right now and it's ok.  Simply telling yourself it is ok can be really helpful - you aren't bad or incapable - you are simply dealing with a challenge. You might be feeling it in your body somewhere.   If in your stomach or chest, put your hand there and give it a gentle rub and feel the warmth of your hand and breathe and tell yourself it's ok. 

2. Say to yourself, I can handle this even though it is really challenging.   Imagine that you are the sun.  Bright, happy, shining as your best.  Now picture there is a cloud that has drifted over your sun making it hard to shine bright.  Trust that just like all clouds they come and go.  You will get through this.   If you believe you can find a way to get through this challenging time you will feel much more capable of finding solutions. When you tell yourself you CAN'T you stop believing in your ability to meet the challenge and it can make you feel bad about yourself.

3. Talk about it and ask for help- your parent, guardian, a friend, or if you feel comfortable please reach out to me.  Sharing how you are feeling and getting some guidance and support is one the best things you can do.  Asking for help takes courage and it is one of the most powerful strengths you can practice!

4. Practice coping skills.  Journalling,  'square breathing' or '5 finger breathing' can be really helpful and help you feel calmer and less anxious when you feel stuck.  Write about a time when you were struggling and outside your comfort zone and you found a way to get through it.   Write some new ways you might think about dealing with what's hard.  Put a note somewhere you can see every day -  I KNOW I CAN GET THROUGH THIS - something supportive to remind you.

Another amazing thing to do - talk to your inner cheerleader!   Your inner cheerleader is that strong loving and wise part inside of you that loves you and is always there to support you even when you forget she's there.   She knows exactly what you need.   

Ask your inner cheerleader to give you some powerful positive thoughts.  What would she tell you right now to help you handle it?   She might say "I know this is really hard but you are awesome and you can figure this out".

 The best thing to do is to believe you are totally capable of handling this difficult time and situation.  When you believe you can handle it then you can start looking for new solutions.